Connie Bauer: Diary of a Telepathic Marketing Professor

What's the best marketing strategy in the world? Is it understanding your target market's demands, being able to differentiate from the competiton, or is it a systematic plan to reach every single last member of your ideal consumer profile? If you said any of those, you'd be dead wrong, because the correct answer, as interpreted by my Consumer Behavior teacher Connie Bauer, is telepathy.

I should start by explaining that my roommate, whom I'll call TC, had had this class the prior semester. I was well aware of the pure insanity that possessed this teacher, so it was obvious that I had to sign up for her class when the opportunity presented itself.

I shouldn't discredit the Con completely (made up the nickname, sticking with it). She actually does make some good points and has a lot of experience in the business world, but she still lives with her Mom, smokes like a chimney, and says things like this:



"I'm a hit or miss telepath."



"I'm somewhat of an empath, in that when I have a headache, it's because someone else does and I'm feeling their headache."



"Did you ever notice the big gold circle around Jesus' head? That is his aura, and the reason artists made it so big is because he was a 4th Level Master."



Now I'm in no place to declare what he may be master of, nor should I even venture to understand how he achieved that level, or how one can attain any level, but I will declare that what came out of her mouth was mind-boggling.



I'll keep this blog updated with more Con Quotes.





P.S. You'll notice I didn't mention anything about the Packers, that's because my night was cut short on accout of Eli freakin' Manning, Plaxico Burress, and poor, nay, PISS poor play from my Packers. Cheers.

Quick Hits: My life in Bullet Points

I figured I'd paint a quick picture of my current situation, and I'm going to do it in a series of important-looking bullet points. Sort of a Bull Durham, Costner belief speech thing going on here.

• I'm 21, which means it's legal for me to drink, something I do entirely too much of.
• I've lived my entire life in Wisconsin, and I've never had any regrets, because...
• I'm a huge Packer and Brewer fan, and nothing says convenience like growing up in Appleton, half an hour from Lambeau Field
• I work two jobs and take on a full load (of classes). Told you I was immature.
• I believe that the only coffee in this world worth drinking is original blend from the nice Indian family at the Dunkin' Donuts on Wisconsin Ave.
• I only have one specific political affiliation: I'm a Favrelican. Our policy platform is Winning, Awesomeness, and maintaining healthy portions of grizzly beards.
• I'm leaving any and all Religion off of this blog, not just because I don't want to offend anyone, but I think the priest that got busted for coke out in the suburbs might be looking to score a deal on the Internet or something. You never know.
• I'll always appreciate a good laugh more than just about anything, it truly is the best medicine (other than Vicodin, which is just another platform on the Favre ticket).
• I enjoy any and all music, and I will be promoting my favorite music throughout this blog. Deal with it. You might learn a thing or two.
• I like to exercise quite a bit, which might seem as a shock to anyone that doesn't live in the Midwest, but surprise surprise: we're not all fat. We just really really really really like the taste of Bratwurst with melted cheese and draft beer on top.

So that's it, kind of. Stay tuned for a running diary of my weekend back home in Appleton/Green Bay in which I will be doing the first bullet point to the fullest while watching my presidential candidate make his push for the Super Bowl. Cheers.

The First of Many

My name is Marc Bennett and I am broke. I am a senior Advertising student at Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI. It is a prominent Jesuit (refers to the Society of Jesus) institution that has been churning out productive professionals for over 125 years. Recently I've began my final semester of college life and have begun the process of...
a) The Job Search
b) Anticipating life without this whole "college" thing
c) Accepting the idea that I am entering something called the real world.

Needless to say, I'm a bit anxious. However, I want to enjoy these remaining months the best I can, so I've decided to try my hand at the blog phenomenon, if not for me, but for those who can relate to this lifestyle. Wow, I'm going to miss this lifestyle. For the record, these posts will never ever be this serious. I just want you to think that college has turned me into a proefssional. Trust me, it hasn't, but I can certainly pretend.



Love, Marc


P.S. I spelled professional wrong. I'm going to keep it like that. It obviously proves my point.