Connie Bauer: Diary of a Telepathic Marketing Professor

What's the best marketing strategy in the world? Is it understanding your target market's demands, being able to differentiate from the competiton, or is it a systematic plan to reach every single last member of your ideal consumer profile? If you said any of those, you'd be dead wrong, because the correct answer, as interpreted by my Consumer Behavior teacher Connie Bauer, is telepathy.

I should start by explaining that my roommate, whom I'll call TC, had had this class the prior semester. I was well aware of the pure insanity that possessed this teacher, so it was obvious that I had to sign up for her class when the opportunity presented itself.

I shouldn't discredit the Con completely (made up the nickname, sticking with it). She actually does make some good points and has a lot of experience in the business world, but she still lives with her Mom, smokes like a chimney, and says things like this:



"I'm a hit or miss telepath."



"I'm somewhat of an empath, in that when I have a headache, it's because someone else does and I'm feeling their headache."



"Did you ever notice the big gold circle around Jesus' head? That is his aura, and the reason artists made it so big is because he was a 4th Level Master."



Now I'm in no place to declare what he may be master of, nor should I even venture to understand how he achieved that level, or how one can attain any level, but I will declare that what came out of her mouth was mind-boggling.



I'll keep this blog updated with more Con Quotes.





P.S. You'll notice I didn't mention anything about the Packers, that's because my night was cut short on accout of Eli freakin' Manning, Plaxico Burress, and poor, nay, PISS poor play from my Packers. Cheers.